Who the fuck IS Alan Morris?

Greetings Pot Pickers from a rather sunny North Wales...

As an interest away from the dim lights and cigarette smoke filled dumps I normally reside in between the hours 6pm - 11pm most weekdays I like to browse t'internet and look for snooker information and sites from all corners of the globe.

However, amongst the stuff I can't read - the Hungarian Snooker website for example - I came across the US Snooker official site.

What's wrong with that? Nowt at all, but seeing the name of Alan Morris now billed as 'Executive Director' of said organisation brought back a distant memory of conversation I had with some snooker journo's at a tournament.

Now, see this Alan Morris guy used to label himself as a 'snooker consultant' (whatever the frig that means) and his 'dream' was to see snooker as big in the States as it is in dear old Blighty (bigger boys have tried and failed matey, but 1 out of 10 for trting Al).

He also used to claim to be a snooker professional but as far as my rather extensive records go, it doesn't appear that he ever played an official match as a pro.

More so my conversation with them there snooker journo's came to the conclusion that no one, not one single journo had heard of him as a player.

His name did crop up as the plonker who offered his services to TSN Sport aka 110Sport to be a roving snooker reporter stateside and I believe he had summat to do with the IBSF (website and stateside reporting I think - a role for which he didn't get paid I understand) in the period when Anthony Hull used to be the big cheese.

But his biggest claim to shame is that I've seen a pic of him playing snooker with one of those 'pool gloves'. I'll dig that photo out and reproduce here on this very blog...

So who are you Mr Morris?

Answers on postcards please to the usual address.

To go on the circuit or not.....

A mate of mine, very VERY good player. Used to be pro, had thousands of tons and several maximums. Ability wise he's first class

He hasn't played on the pro circuit now for 10 years or so.

He's decided that he wants to go back on the pro circuit again.

Should I stake him the entry fees to the events??? I really REALLY want to, but, there's something holding me back.

The biggest reason I want to do it is that I would love to see nothing more than him winning a few matches and see him competing again back at the level he's capable of. So for no other motive than to help realise his dream (again) I wanna do this.

The money aspect of it isn't a worry. Without sounding like a flash git a grand or two isn't gona break the bank (leave a hole, yes, but skin me? not quite) but why is it that if I know there's zero chance on seeing a return on my investment and the blokes a mate why do I have a doubt??

I just don't know.....

Any advice?

Utter Shite on eBay

ok rant time..... and I mean FUCKING RANT TIME

Is it me or is the quality of items listed on eBay these days total and utter shite.

If it's not mega cheap (and shite cues) that are 'new to the UK market' (Chinese shite) its over priced antique cues that are reciprocally bidded up by a group of around 6 'cue collectors' to line their own pockets and fleece new collectors - I won't name names but most people know who they are now (if you want to know just email me)

These 'new to the UK market' lumps of firewood - WASLIN, JX et al - are utter shite. I've played with them all at some point and then had to re-examine tehm while I looked for where the head and bristles bit went as I thought it was a novelty shaped yard brushes.

YES they are CHEAP - under 20 quid for a cue and case, but you wouldn't part with 20 quid for a turd if I told you it was a 'really good' turd that was 'new to the UK market' would you????

and now to the cue bidding ring.....

Go on eBay and look for any antique cues - Riley Tombstone's, any Joe Davis cues, Burwat Champions, Thurstons etc - now look who bids on them.....

It's the same susupects bidding on each other's cues to bump the price. Wankers the lot of them...

And while I'm on that subject.... ages ago I sold a shit load of old cues - nowt special but a decent enough set of 8 cues....

I was bombarded with private messages from members of the 'cue bidding ring' (I actually receieved 13 pm's). This pissed me off so much that I decided to have a bit of fun and tell one of 'The Ring' that I had a room full of old 'pool cues' as I was doing a house clearance from my recently departed grand-pappy.

I checked with a local cue collector about which cues would a cue collector would be gagging for.... so I told the member of The Ring I had a load of cues including 4 Cannon Match cues, 3 Burwats, a Stevenson cue, some Mannocks and some 'weird looking pool cues with really thick butts with inlays all the way up' (these described 'French' cues i.e. continental cues that were richly decorated - in English, a grand a cue).

I told the member of 'The Ring' what I had and he offered me £450 for the lot and offered to come and collect them, a trip of around 380miles there and back.

the cues I quoted him would fetch around 3 1/2 - 4 grand if I sold them at the going rate. this wanker offered just over a tenth of what they were worth...

That's not business that's robbery from a guy who advertises that he will perform valuations of billiards items..

Soooo keep 'em peeled for either shite or shits who appear on eBay

Jimmy White

Read this in Britains BIGGEST redtop

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,3...30391,,00.html

The Whirlwind is currently 35th in the rankings, provisonally 48 I think (this post states 58th!!!) so he'll have a mammoth task in getting back in the top 16, not impossible but HIGHLY UNLIKELY.

Anyway, the odds of him pulling it off isn't what I wanted to get off my chest. The question is...

Is any player 'too good' not to be in the top 16? Discuss

I'm firmly of the view of if you aint in the top 16, at that point in time, you ain't good enough and your ranking reflects that.

Some players have outstanding seasons and rocket up the rankings, possibly a little too quickly - Maguire and possibly Shaun Murphy (imho) - thereofre not being able to fully mature as elite players, and that's what these boys are - elite players.

But getting back to White, he's a great player but I don't think he's an elite player anymore.

We all know what White has acheived and what he could potentially acheive, but I truly believe that his best days are long gone and he'll have to concede that he's still a hell of a player but just isn't good (consistant) enough to compete with the games elite of a season. His record of results for the previous season proves that.

Then again who knows what may happen in the oncoming season.... a ranking event win, a semi final and the Whirlwind will blow back into the top 16.

Christmas Day....

I went to a mates house warming party last night.....

Along with copius drinking, meeting new folk, a few more drinks and the obligitory tour of the house I ask where a door lead to. It turned out to be a connecting door to the social club nextdoor which, may I point out, my mate has access to as she makes afternoon teas for the memebers when called upon.

On opening the door and edgily entering I was confronted with....



Needless to say I sloped off the official house tour and within a few minutes ended up with..


Managed 11 reds and colours with a crabby rack cue too!

With a bit of discrete questioning it turns out that the tables (yes, tables! - 2 of them, just been re-covered too!) hardly get used and I can have use of them all night after 10pm, saturday mornings and all day sundays too!

60p an hour in t'meter on bootiful tables in a private room..... Christmas has come early!

Keep the faith. Word

Pot Black part 2

Well, Sport Relief came and went. My wallet was relieved of several quid too....

Anyway, to the point.... Celebrity Pot Black.... I actually enjoyed it. Most surprising really as I had grave doubts at first.

Bradley Walsh was hillarious, a wee bit OTT, but largely very funny, and that Vernon Kay bloke was also a good foil to Wash's slaptstick patter.

The quality of the snooker was utter shite but that last pink by Vernon Kay was awesome.

Lets hope that we see more of Pro-Celebrity Pot Black soon.....

Spenny

As most of you will already know 3 times World Champion John Spencer has passed away.

Having lived near Spenny's hometown of Radcliffe all my life it was inevitable that I would meet him... that I did twice.

1st time I was practicing when I noticed him watching me (and others) play through the matchroom window. Needless to say I missed every ball after seeing him. Thanks John

2nd time I managed to hit 5 glorious balls (I swear to god it was the best 25 clearance anyone ever had, in the world vol.3, period, full stop) I went into the lounge where he commented on the green and brown I potted then said 'other than that, well...., there isn't anything else. Keep practising' then burst out laughing. Spencer really did have a sense of humour as I duly found out. Very nice guy.

It was nice meeting you John....

Celebrity Pot Black

While browsing the newly revamped World Snooker site I came across this

Looks interesting....

....but I can't help but yearn for the days that 'The Gaffer' Bill Maynard (RIP), Frankie Vaughan and Bernie Winters (also RIP tho I don't know about Schnorbitz) participated. Those were the days when CELEBRITIES WERE CELEBRITIES

SnookerScene

Having just read the latest issue of SnookerScene I have started to realise one thing....

Fuck all happens in the snooker world (of any worth) during the summer.

What, oh Northern Snooker Hero, made you come to this ground breaking (PhD worthy) discovery...

13 pages (out of a 40 page magazine) dedicated to Clive Evertons long winded, errr I mean long running, battle with Them (WorldSnooker)

FOR GOD'S SAKE CLIVE WIND YOUR NECK IN

It's gone on too long.... yes they may have libelled you (very bad) but you bent them over and buggered them (figuratively speaking) in court and won 115 grand off them (well off the orgamistaions members... the members that you try and protect and look out for) which is VERY GOOD if you ask me.

The only good part of this months issue was Ebdon's piss funny letter to Elaine Goldsmith on page 30.

While I like Ebdon (not in gay way, that is) I thought the letter was quite laughable. One part of the letter did make think though.... think long and hard and made me go over previous editorial by CE.

Yes... Clive does have a tendancy to snipe, sometimes fairly, sometimes unfairly at most things concerned with Them (WorldSnooker) or event related issues e.g. prize money etc. and yes, he does tend to have a rather negative air to his comments.

So, in tribute to Ebbo's letter from next month I will be undertaking a 'Clive Watch', counting and reporting on any negative sniping that occurs in each issue of SnookerScene magazine.

You have been warned.....

edit: the other funny bit of this months issue was on page 8...

Who the FRIG would pay 3 grand for that crumby picture of Ronnie O'Sullivan. Made me laugh anyway.

No North West Snooker

A sad day, a very sad day.

I sit here, typing with a black arm band on.

The Grand Prix is no longer in Preston.

Preston, the home of Ian McCulloch, Stuart Pettman Steve Rowlings (my one time coach I'll have you know - a mighty MIGHTY fine player and a hell of a coach) Freddie Flintoff and er... Preston North End football club, has been robbed of one of the best events in the snooker calendar.

Why oh why? - No idea to be honest

So where has the event been moved too?

My first thought was, due to WorldSnooker's efforts to rationalise the organisations outgoings (save money), I thought that they (WorldSnooker) had deceided to go back to the 'grassroots' and host the event at Freckelton Working Mens Club*. But alas, how wrong can a Northern Snooker Hero (me) be......

So where did they decide to stage the event? Probably the hardest location on the mainland UK to get to.... nope not Coventry but Aberdeen.

Yes ladies and gents.... Aber-friggin-deen. Home to oil rig works and, generally, cold Scottish people.

Reason? - no idea

Actually there are two reasons...

A) Graeme Dott ('who he?' I hear most people cry) the munchkin sized 'wee one' is the World Snooker Champ

or

B) that some Highland sports council / local council has stumped up 80 grand towards the staging of the event

What will they achieve by moving the event millions of miles from civilistaion (well approx 186 miles away from England anyway)? Not too sure but I do know 1 thing... I won't be in attendance.

* I made that up apologies to any real institution called that

Practice, practice and more practice

Practice. How important? Discuss.

Of course practice is fundamental to improvement in any sport or discipline, but I've always wondered, until recently, how important is regular practice.

Well... I've been a very recent convert to regular, serious practice sessions.

I've been playing snooker for fun for a very long time. I've always wanted to be a better player but never really applied myself to addressing the flaws in my game. I suppose like most of the snooker players who'll be reading this I used to mistake playing regularly for practicing reuglarly.

I used to get so frustrated and down hearted that having played 4 times a week for a considerable period of time that i never actually did anything serious (i.e. decent breaks) on the table. Playing a few frames with your mate does not allow you to retake a shot if you play it wrong does it!

So, a few weeks ago I deceided on the commitment to reduce the number of times I played in a week and started to replace the missing matches with practice sessions.

This led me to the question: " OK, What do I pracxtice then?" Stupidly i started off with practicing 'hard' shots, for afterall those are the ones I frequently missed, right?

Wrong! As wrong as a wrong thing could be.

After 2 weeks, 4 practice sessions, 6 hours in all of practice I still wasn't whacking in length of the table blues or taking 9 out of 10 ten reds which were lined up between centre pockets, cueing from the baulk line. I must be crap, eh?

Not really, I was just trying shots that were largely beyond my technical ability.

So I started doing a simple line up. 7 reds lined up between the top cushion and the pink (two below the black, 5 in between black and pink) and went back to basics. Simple run throughs or stuns at pocket weight. At first it wasn't pretty - I was so lacking in confidence I was lucky to string together 4 pots. I was the worst I've EVER felt playing snooker and I was VERY close to flogging my cue and case and buggering off to do something else.

But I stuck with it, always thinking 100% on what I was doing, building my confidence back up. This back to basics and realising my own limitations has paid dividends. By taking things very slowly and modestly I have improved greatly in the 5 weeks or so that I've been practicing,

From a humble 14 or 16 when I first started doing the line up I recently made a 76 on the line up - my highest ever break. All this in just over a month.

So, for me at least, practice, practice and more practice is working. The new found seriousness I put into my practice times IS working. So if you're reading this and, you like me, felt as though you should be playing better and were mistaking playing snooker and practicing snooker take a step back, get down the snooker hall an hour before you're due to play with your mates and do a few simple practice routines. Just a few reds and blacks of the spot will reap you snooker rewards you never EVER will achieve by simply playing.

Woaaahhhh, that was a lot wasn't it, but i hope you find my experience of help

Thanks!

Weird....

Have you ever played.... played for around 7 hours..... played frame after frame.....lost more than you've won.....lost 20 quid in small side bets..... but still felt that you've played well?

Well that's just happened. I'm normally well pissed off when I've lost especially when the guy I played highest break was only 41.

I must have the bug again...